IT'S HERE

Well it's here... in 24 hours we'll be at the airport starting our journey to China to get Scarlett. It's a moment we've been waiting for for about 4 years. It sounds cliche but it truly feels like just yesterday that we started this process in the Ethiopia program. At that time, Chase was less than 2 years old. Our wait time was only supposed to be 18-24 months which seemed perfect for us.
Ha ha ha right. So, God knew what He was doing (imagine that)! Adding another child to the family with Chase as a 3 year old (or 4 year old for that matter... and honestly, right now is still pushing it, but we've got kindergarten coming) would have pushed me over the edge. The 3rd child has a way of humbling your "awesome parenting skills," at least it did in our experience.

Fast forward a few years of waiting on the Ethiopia list, and here we are getting ready to adopt from CHINA. It's funny because our choice was between China and Africa to begin with... and we both just felt pulled to Africa. There's always a lesson to be learned, and ours was that sometimes God changes your path. What we learned from the switch was to trust in God, how to hear His voice in our life, and PATIENCE- this is the big one that I struggle with. This entire process is a big fat waiting game. Waiting for this, then waiting for that, all in other people's control... this is not fun for someone with a Type A personality!! It was neat to sit by a gorgeous stream in Colorado with Nathan and pray for the future of our family together and for God to give us perfect peace in our decision. As days passed the peace that we prayed for continued to grow and we started the process to switch countries. Saying goodbye to Africa was sad. We felt like we were abandoning our daughter, but we knew that this was what we were supposed to do, so we did it. Our daughter was not from Africa, that was clear. What a faith journey we've been on. It is because God says so- we can't see the outcome, only He knows how this story plays out. But we press on because He loves us and we love Him. Pretty simple!

This means we got to do all of that 6 months of paperwork we'd prepared (when I say we, I mean I) for Ethiopia over again to send to China. This was frustrating for me- I had to tell myself over and over to persevere and it would of course be rewarded and we'd get our daughter. Onward we go.

And then there's the PEOPLE! You guys have been insanely encouraging and supportive. Honestly, we could not be doing this without our people! Too many to list here, but all of the financial support from friends and family and STRANGERS, encouraging words from friends and family, and the friends and family who will be watching our kids and pets while we're gone. And my personal favorite, the prayers from friends, family and strangers! We are ever grateful for the people that God has put in our life at such a time as this to be involved in this magical story! I was a new Christ follower when we started this journey, and man have I seen God show up in MIGHTY ways these last 4 years. God is REAL, and my biggest dream is that EVERYONE can know Him!

Scarlett is going to know Him. I've been crying myself through church for many months as we get closer and closer to bringing this child that God picked just for our family home. We get to tell her that Jesus is the one that answered our prayers, prayers we never knew we had. Jesus is the one who has known her from the foundation of the earth and will love her better than we ever can, and that Jesus is the one writing this story. We get to teach her that no matter what she is loved, adopted, chosen, forgiven and redeemed by the creator of the world.Who knows what life would be like for her growing up in China, especially with a special need that is so visible. God made her perfect and she'll be told that she's beautiful and cherished every day. Oh wait, that's just like my story! My heavenly father feels the same way about me! :-)

Back to adoption. Can you guys tell that I'm a God girl? I get going... I know.

When we get Scarlett on Monday- Gotcha Day! From our point of view, we are gaining a daughter. We've been laboring through paperwork, finances, meetings, trainings and more for the past 4 years to get to this day. The day we hold her and tell her how much we love her and that she will never be ever be without a family again. While we're excited about this, there's also her side of the story. Many people don't understand that there's a tragedy that happens in adoption. Scarlett has lost a lot in her short life. Her birth parents. On Monday, her foster parents- the only parents she's known. She's particularly close with the foster grandma I hear. She hasn't been able to prepare for this like we have. She is going to be handed over to us- these foreigners who don't speak her language or look like her. And her foster family is going to go home without her (bless them, seriously). She's going to be scared. Gotcha day for her and gotcha day for us will not be the same. Saying that the grief that she's about to face breaks my heart doesn't fully capture the feelings I'm having. Once we have her, we have her. And we take her back to our hotel. This child of ours that we are just meeting at 22 months old. She doesn't know that she can trust us the way our babies did in those first moments after birth. She might kick and scream and push us away when we try to pick her up. The grief that she experiences is a good thing as painful as it is- it means that she loved someone and was attached with someone, and grieving is a healthy thing- it's part of the process. All that I can do is pray that God equips us to do and be whatever Scarlett needs us to be in that moment and in the moments to come. We can't do this on my own, but I'm not afraid- ya'll know God will be right there with us, encouraging and strengthening us as we push forward each day as He already has worked out every detail of this entire process. There is nothing too big for Him that He can't handle and that hasn't already passed through His hands!

I'm excited to explore China with our daughter- we'll load up our camera with pics from our adventure to show her as she grows up. I'm going to miss my kids (and dogs) something fierce while we're away, but I'm going to cherish every moment spent in Scarlett's country because who knows if we'll be back?! I want to take it all in and get to know the culture and fall in love with where she's from.  We'll buy her gifts to give at milestone birthdays and pearls for her wedding. We'll make lifelong friends who are adopting a sweetie from China at the same time- we can look back and laugh at the memories made together. We'll get on a plane and fly for 15ish hours back to the USA where she'll become a citizen of our country the minute we land. At that time, her Chinese citizenship is gone (China doesn't recognize dual citizenship)- I have mixed feelings about this. It's exciting, but at the same time feels like we're taking something from her.

And before we know it, we'll be home. A family of 6. This is when things get real. I'm not naive enough to think that it's all going to a fairytale ending at this point. It's going to take time for our kids to bond. She's almost 2, so she'll be doing those adorably annoying toddler things that big kids just can't stand. There will be less time for Riley, Addison and Chase and most of our attention will be focused on Scarlett. How will Chase respond to being a big brother and no longer the baby of the family? I think he's ready for this role, but I know we'll have tough days. It's going to be important for me and Nathan to set aside personal time with the 3 big kids- we'll be pulled in many different directions. I don't mind. Having kids is sacrificing yourself, becoming selfless, and it's worth it. It's the best thing in the world. I still can't believe that God entrusted these humans to me. What a blessing. I don't take it lightly.

So, here's what you guys can do (if you made it this far, thanks for hanging in with my rambling). I know that so many people have prayed for and loved this little girl right along with us and want so badly to scoop her up! And you will get your time, I promise. However, it's so important that we hunker down as best we can and focus on attaching with her. The phrase is called cocooning. If you are in our circle, I encourage you to read this article about cocooning: http://www.nohandsbutours.com/2015/09/09/cocooning/
We plan on doing this as much as possible, to teach her who mom and dad are. We will meet every need she has to build trust and attachment. The challenging part is that we have to meet every need and not let people like grandparents, babysitters, friends, or others be able to interact with her in ways they'd love to just yet.  So, if you see us after we get home, please understand that we're not trying to be rude if we don't let you hold her. We're not being overprotective. We're teaching her what a mom and dad is. We just want what is best for our daughter.

And finally to close... my next blog post will be from Beijing, China (if I can get the internet to work, Lord willing). Please pray for us. All of us. We can feel the prayers already.

Oh I almost forgot! There's something else you can do if you're in our area... meals, bring us meals! Fresh meals, frozen meals, gift cards for meals. We have a 3 freezers at our house. We are going to be DOG tired (did I mention that we get in at 10pm on Wednesday, August 17th and will get up bright and early he next day (if we sleep at all that night) to kids who will be ecstatic to see us and meet their sister (and get gifts, I'm sure they'll be begging to see what we picked out for them)!!