Tuesday, July 30, 2013

A Day in the Life...

This doesn't really have anything to do with adoption, but it's something that I'd like to document before I forget the details of this once-in-a-lifetime experience! This is very long- I'm not writing it with the hopes that others will read it, I'm writing for myself tonight, but feel free to skim if you're interested in how this went down!

Starting from the beginning.
I started the Chantix program (nicotine free quit smoking medication) on January 16, 2010. The program is 12 weeks, and includes an online program called Get Quit that was vital in my road to being quit for good.
For the first week, you continue smoking as the drug starts to do it's work. Half-way through that first week, cigarettes started tasting really gross- a sign that Chantix was working. I got an automated phone call every night asking how many cigarettes I'd smoked that day. Being able to say "zero" was very motivational for me. It felt good to proudly say that I had gotten through another day without nicotine!
The articles and activities that I received in my email inbox every day kept me focused on why I needed and wanted to quit smoking.
When I made it to the end of those 12 weeks, I felt very confident for the first time in the 12 years that I'd been a smoker, that I had kicked the nasty habit for good. I loved how the new me felt- so healthy and proud that I'd overcome my addiction!

Fast forward to January 16, 2011 my one year anniversary of quitting. A whole year nicotine-free- what an accomplishment. I knew that I had made it.

Around this time, I received a questionnaire from Pfizer, the company that makes Chantix.
They wanted to know if I was still quit, and if I'd be interested in helping others by sharing my story. I wrote "yes" in the blanks and submitted my answers.

Fast forward to May 2013.
I received a phone call from the Snow Company, a recruitment company that works with Pfizer to find ex-smokers for their videos/commercials/print ads. They asked if I was still willing to share my story to help others quit by possibly being in a commercial. I answered some preliminary questions to see if I qualified (they were looking for a specific age range, and they want people who complete the entire 12 weeks program).
After meeting those requirements, I sent in a photo and the recruitment specialist presented me to the folks at Pfizer, and the production company in NYC. After making it through that "round", I was asked to meet the production director via a Skype interview. This is when I realized that this could really happen.
Ashish, the production director, and I had a great chat, and he selected me to move forward with the process.
Next, I had to track down my prescription history to show that I filled all of the Chantix scripts. I also had to provide my medical records to show that I don't suffer from depression and other medical issues.
I was told in the first week of July that the shoot would be in Chicago in the next few weeks, and they wanted to know if I could make the 22nd-26th work for leaving my family.
Things at Nathan's job (Sprint) are insane (putting it mildly) for the next few months, but I figured that between both sets of grandparents, we could figure it out for this once in a lifetime opportunity!

I received a phone call on Thursday, July 11, 2013 from my contact at Snow, and she told me that I had been chosen to do the Chantix commercial, and they wanted my family to come as well. Up to that point, I thought that it would just be me making the trip to Chicago. I was worried that Nathan wouldn't be able to get away for a few days during this vital time at Sprint. However, he spoke with his boss, and was given the green (er... yellow) light to accompany us. What a blessing! I don't thing words can express how thankful I am to Nathan's boss and co-workers for recognizing the importance of his presence with us in Chicago!

So, we had about a week to get some paperwork together and get things packed for the trip. Upon our arrival in Illinois, we'd need to obtain a work permit for each of the kids, so that they could shoot the commercial. Their pediatrician had to write a letter, stating that they have been given physicals in the last year and are healthy. I had to write and sign a letter for them to be able to "work."
During this week, we also started receiving more details for our trip. We were asked our sizes so that the wardrobe crew could start shopping. We learned that there would be a car service picking us up from our humble home in Shawnee, Kansas to take us to the airport. We were booked on Southwest only after discovering that the first class options on the other airlines didn't have the flight times we needed. I've never had the privilege to ride first class- would have been cool thing, but business select on Southwest was plenty of advantage. It was fun to walk up to the priority security line, bypassing the madness of the other line! And aside from the disabled, we were the first on the airplane.

Our experience started on Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Our driver arrived at 1:00pm, loaded our bags, and as soon as Nathan got home from his morning at work, we were on our way. My nerves started to kick in at this point- I realized that we were actually going, and I was worried that I wouldn't be what Pfizer was looking for in their commercial.
The kids thoroughly enjoyed the quick airplane ride- something they never get to do. Here's Addison and I excited for take off:

When we arrived in Chicago, we had an assistant with Chelsea Pictures pick us up in a minivan outfitted with the car seat and booster seats we needed. She drove us to the luxury hotel they had booked for us, The James Hotel on Ontario Street. We were on the top floor in a suite, and man was it SWEET! The kids were in awe of this huge bed that all three of them were to sleep in.

Shortly after arriving, I received a text from my contact with Chelsea Pictures, asking me to come down to their office on the 3rd floor to get our per Diem for our stay. $600 was given for our family to enjoy the city! To say that we were being spoiled is putting it mildly. I met a handful of people involved in the commercial- all from Chelsea Pictures- they were from LA. The other companies involved were Y&R, the advertising agency, and Snow, the recruiting company I had mentioned above.
We set off in the big city around 7pm to find a place to get some dinner. We ended up at Rock Bottom Brewery- the first place we found without a wait. By this time, we were all starved.
Riley and I enjoyed some steak- he has mature taste buds, and he cleaned his plate, and then finished Chase's pizza.
The weather in Chicago was perfect- middle to upper 70's, dropping down to a need-your-jacket temperature in the evening. We were told that the week before had been very hot, so we were thankful for this break from the heat.
After dinner, we took a short walk to the river and down Michigan Avenue. The streets were bustling with people, and we all felt revived after our delicious meal and walk.
If you haven't been to Chicago, please put it on your list of places to see. Nathan and I lived there for 2 years before having children, and I've had a fondness for the city ever since. Here are some pics we took by the river:


We tucked our giggly wiggly children into that big awesome bed, and settled ourselves down with a few drinks from the hotel bar. Sweet sleeping angels:




The next day, Wednesday, July 24, 2013, we took the kids across the street to Starbucks for breakfast. The poor locals that pop in to get a quick coffee on their way to work had to wait as our hungry family of five ordered half of the menu! We then went a few doors down to Trader Joe's to stock up on some snackies for our room. The weather was once again totally perfect- I was feeling euphoric walking the streets of my favorite city, on an all expenses paid vacation because of something I was able to accomplish.
Chase helping me get things ready for our wardrobe selection meeting:

At 10:00am, we had a meeting with the wardrobe people to pick our outfits for the next day. I thought that it would just be a few people in the room, but when the door opened, I was flooded with a conference table of people, all excited to meet me and my family. There was 2 racks of clothes and shoes. Randy, the other person selected was there with his wife, so we enjoyed comparing stories. He is a police officer and had smoked for 32 years. He had been quit for 2 years. I learned at this meeting that Randy and I were selected out of 400 people that were interviewed!
Leslie, our wardrobe lady, had us try on some outfits so that everyone else could weigh in on what they liked. She put me in a flowered button down short sleeved shirt with a collar- so NOT me, and I was very uncomfortable. As she was snapping pictures of this outfit, Ashish, the production director who I had done the Skype interview with, walked in. I was thrilled to see a familiar face and to meet him in person. He is such a cool guy- made me feel very comfortable with the whole thing. He asked me how I felt about the outfit, and I told him that I honestly don't wear shirts like that because I never feel comfortable in them. He didn't like the shirt either, and chose a coral colored shirt from J. Crew. They paired it with a pair of green cargo pants and brown shoes I had brought from home. They don't typically like to use all brand new items because they want it to look real. So, Riley ended up in an outfit brought from home, Addison got all new stuff, Chase used shorts from home and a shirt Leslie had picked, and Nathan got all new stuff, too. After many pictures of our wardrobe, and meeting tons of people involved in the production, we took off to get those Illinois work permits the kids required to participate in the commercial. Carli was my representative from Snow assisting us with various things, including these permits. We enjoyed having her around. Really everybody involved was so nice, and welcoming, making us feel at ease and excited for the big day!
The ladies at the office didn't seem to think we needed those work permits- they said they were ready for their lunch break... We got the permits anyways, and came to find that of course we did need them.
We had a big gap of time before the Pfizer crew arrived, so we took the kids to Millennium park to check out "the bean" and the water fountains. This was some much needed down time for us. Once again, the weather was ideal, so we enjoyed the splendor of the city that afternoon.




After grabbing a few hours of nap time, we ventured back out to Navy Pier (my personal favorite in Chicago). We enjoyed a funnel cake, and let the kids pick a souvenir in one of the shops. We took a 30 minute ride on the Sea Dog, a boat that goes fast on the lake, pointing out the history of the buildings that make Chicago so magnificent.
Here we are on the Sea Dog:



After our adventures, the nice people from Pfizer took a bunch of us out for dinner. Among the group were my new friends, Carli and Ashish. We had a wonderful time getting to know each other, and even though we were eating late and had been busy all day, the kids were angels. I swear, I don't know how I got so lucky. Of course, they have their moments, but I am amazed that they knew that it was important for them to have good behavior at this table of important people! To reward them for making us so proud, we ventured out for another walk by the river- we are lucky that we were staying so close to it!
Ashish found it totally necessary to eat deep dish pizza and then a deep dish sundae. Whatever, we weren't paying. Dinner:



The BIG Day, Thursday, July 25, 2013
I only had about 10 days to mentally prepare myself to be in the limelight, and I had no clue what to expect, but I woke up (super early) on this day feeling mostly excited, with a tiny bit of nervousness. I met Carli downstairs to meet the assistant who gave us a ride to the shoot. Our first stop was the crew parking lot, which was a church down the street from "my house". There was a long table set up with lots of breakfast fixings, and most importantly coffee. I wasn't able to eat like I should have because there was a strange man walking his dog through the parking lot, asking a lot of questions and saying some inappropriate things (i.e., when the assistant explained to him what Chantix was, he said, "oh for all of those people with no will power to quit on their own? I quit cold turkey"). I tried to ignore him, but he was a bit hard to push aside, and with no coffee in my system, I was only half awake. So, I took my coffee and was driven to the set. I wish I had a better picture to show how quaint this neighborhood was. We took a left on Elm and there were trucks lining the street, and there were people everywhere- carrying props, cameras, and everything else required for the set.

The house they picked was perfect- if only it really were mine! Here it is:

This is when I realized how much work has gone into this one day of filming, and that these people were all here for me- to hear my story of how I gave up cigarettes. Next stop: the hair, makeup, and wardrobe trailer. During this time, the door to the trailer was open, and I noticed two ladies sitting outside on their porch, coffee in hand, trying to get a glimpse into the trailer. I later found out that letters had been put on doors to notify the neighbors that there would be a commercial being shot in a house on the block on that day, but they had no idea who was in it, so they all thought it was an actress. The owner, Leslie, was surprised to hear that I was just a regular stay-home-mom from Kansas! Here I am getting all beautified:


Jenny and Sandy

Jenny, Niki (Pfizer) and Carli (Snow)
There were some funny moments in the make-up trailer. Leslie informed me that I look "too young", so she was putting eye liner in the corners to age me. The only time when being too young is a bad thing. I was worried she'd make me look too old, but I was happy with how it all turned out. She put my hair in jumbo curlers to add volume since my locks are terribly flat. Ashish came in as this was happening and he saw how bouncy my hair was when the curlers first came out. He was concerned that I looked like "glam mom", but Sandy assured him that it would be perfect by the time the cameras started rolling. She was right- the curls fell a bit, and the look was perfect (I have since purchased jumbo rollers for myself). He was also confused about how it was so shiny- I explained to him that it's the vitamins that I take (biotin) and the shampoo that I use that cause this. So, we joked around that my next commercial would be for hair product. He wasn't as amused as the rest of us. 
After putting on the chosen wardrobe, I was given another coffee and was able to watch the house being transformed and meet some people on set. The owners were so excited to meet me, and hear my story. 
Here I am with Leslie (on the right) and her sister:

They liked that I was a real person who had quit smoking, and were intrigued about how Chantix works. Brian, my trustworthy assistant for the day, took me inside to show me how things were going. I couldn't believe how many people were in that house! 




How cool to be able to experience this. A celebrity for a day, given the VIP treatment. I was asked about 10 times if I wanted something from Starbucks. Looking back on it, I should have been drinking way more skinny vanilla lattes than I did! 
The Pfizer ladies came and asked that I rest for a few minutes before filming- they didn't want me chatting so much, I guess. I sat for about 1 minute, and they called me in to start the 3 hour interview. Here's where I started sweating. I sat in the chair with 6 cameras in my face, and a microphone above my head. There was 6 people behind those cameras. Ashish sat across from me, out of the view of the camera, and I was to focus on his face and act natural. He had me do some breathing exercises before we began. I felt a lot of pairs of eyes on me- here's what my view looked like (took this picture while a neighbor was weed-eating and we had to wait until he was done):
Ashish's chair is the one in front of the blond girl, Esther. She was taking notes as I answered questions and she would tap Ashish on the shoulder and hand him additional questions to ask me. This is how it went for about 2 1/2 hours: Ashish would ask me a question and I would answer the question by repeating what he asked because in the commercial, you won't hear his voice, just my answer. I forgot to do this a few times, so he would repeat the question with a smirk, so I knew I goofed. He was very patient with me. And if I needed to think about how to answer a question, it was no big deal. They can edit. However, Ashish was not patient with the many noise interruptions we had. First there was the neighbor starting up his weed eater, next was an airplane overhead, after that there was construction, someone cleared their throat, a cell phone wasn't silenced, the cicadas got loud, and finally, my stomach growled the loudest growls ever heard (Brian ran in with candy bars to curb my appetite). So, there was a lot of starting and stopping, which messed up our flowing conversation. We'd have to come back to subjects frequently. 
I wasn't expecting this, but emotions came to the surface, and I made the ugly crying face as I tried to hold back the tears. Some of the questions he asked that struck me were: "did you think of yourself as a bad mom when you smoked?", "how satisfied are you with your life right now as a non-smoker? What is your husband like? Your kids?", "how do you think your kids would feel if you were still smoking?", and "who is proud of you for quitting smoking?" I've never been to a therapist before, but I can imagine that this is what it must be like. A lot of things were brought to my attention as I really dug deep and talked about my experience in detail for the first time, and how smoking made me feel- not just the shortness of breath or stinky clothes, but how it made me feel as a mom of young kids. Ashish commented that he could tell that I love being a mom, that I am a good mom, and that my kids adore me, but I am too hard on myself. Then he asked me about our adoption... yep, I cried a lot that day. My make-up lady, Sandy, was called in numerous times to fix my teary face. She was awesome! Here's what it looked like on the camera side looking at me:


The kids were picked up by the assistant at 10:15am and went to the trailer for their make-up, hair and wardrobe changes. It sounds like Nathan was stuck in that trailer with the kids for over an hour (he's a trooper) before the interview wrapped up and they called them into the house. After talking about my family for last few hours, I couldn't wait to see them, and experience the rest of the day with them by my side. The living room in the background was made to look like my house would look- there were toys on the floor, and pictures of us on the table (they had me bring some from our house). With me sitting in the chair I was interviewed in, they had the kids and Nathan playing in the background while they took a still video. 
Julie, the marketing director for Chantix, came in and told me that her and a handful of other people had been watching the interview from a tent set up in the backyard (I had no idea about this), and her feedback was that I did quite well, and that she loved my emotion. I felt better after talking to her about my interview. 

After the interview (I was so ready for that to be over), in came the professional photographer- a REAL professional photographer. He was taking my portrait for the print ad. I had no clue that was part of the process. Looks like my face will be in a few magazines along with the commercial! Phillip was his name- he kept saying, "that's great, beautiful smile, you're a natural"... I am no Cindy Crawford, but I felt like it for just a few minutes, minus the bathing suit. 
By this time, I was famished and in desperate need of a potty break. The senior producer, Fred, came in and demanded I be given a break. Ahhh I love you, Fred! Oh but wait, you can't eat yet, here comes Leslie with a spare shirt for me to change into to keep my coral shirt clean. There's only one bathroom for all of these people and I can't change or empty my bladder! 
For a good hour, we had some time to kill as the set was changed from the living room to the kitchen where we would be shooting some scenes for the commercial (you know the end of the commercial where they say, "discontinue use if any of these symptoms occur... possible side effects are..."). During that break, we enjoyed a beverage on the front lawn (per my request as my reward after the looong interview, someone found me a rum and coke). And the kids spent some time relaxing before their big job started. 



Finally, we were called inside to start shooting the last portion of the commercial. They had set up the kitchen to look like we were getting dinner ready. First, the five of us were around a coffee table in the sitting room of the kitchen doing activities together. Ashish was directing us what to do- "okay, now look at what Riley is drawing and pat him on the head", "how about share a smile with Nathan and then say something to Chase."
Nathan gets up from the table and heads into the kitchen to make dinner. They had grilled cheese on the stove and he was putting peanut butter on celery sticks. He was so natural about it, while I was over with the kids laughing. He said, "honey, dinner is almost ready!" and I got up to set the table while the kids stayed with their activities. While I'm setting the table I am smiling and looking up lovingly at Nathan. Then I go over and say something to him and we share a sweet smile. Then I call the kids into dinner and they come running in. I pick up Chase and put him in a highchair and scoot him up to the table. Nathan comes over and hands me a plate of sandwiches. We pass the food along, sharing sweet smiles with the kids and each other. The kids seemed oblivious to what was going on, even though there were cameras and a ton of people in the room. They never asked why we never actually ate the grilled cheese sandwiches. It took 4 takes to get what they wanted. After consulting with the folks outside and taking more pictures of me (this time sitting at the kitchen table), they declared, "It's a wrap!" Those were sweet words to hear. In all, I was there for 9.5 hours, the kids for 6.5. We got a lot of compliments about how well behaved our kids were during the day. Fred said, "you guys are great parents!" Once again, these kids came through for us, and we knew that they deserved some rewards that night.
I requested a picture with the entire crew. My wish was their command for that day, so here ya go:

Ashish, me and Chase

This experience was so humbling and exciting. I'm so thankful that they chose me out of 400 people, and still confused as to why. It was awesome to me that my family got to experience it with me- I don't think I could come home and try to explain it to them. 
If you read this, wow. I wrote it for myself. So I can remember this day as time goes on and other experiences take up my memory space. The glory goes to God, as He is the one who set me up for this journey- from beginning to end. 






Saturday, May 11, 2013

DTE (Dossier to Ethiopia) #111 on List

Oh Happy Day!
8 months of paper chasing and we finally have a DTE (Dossier to Ethiopia) date! Those in the adoption world know how important this date is, and how much work it took to get to this stage. Looking back, it was no biggie. While we were in the thick of it, it seemed like it would take years to get it all completed. I remember the day that we received the packet of info from our family coordinator with our agency, September 26, 2012. My heart sank as I scanned through the pages and pages and pages of information that explained everything we would need to complete before being on a waiting list.

I know that it will be 24-30 months before we have our Ethiopian daughter in our arms, but my heart is happy today as I think back through the last 8 months and what God has taught us! It seems fitting that this is happening right before Mother's Day. 

Here is a timeline of what has occurred in the last 16 months. I wanted to put this timeline together so we have it all listed in one place, so we can look back and know when small and big steps were completed. I incorporated our journey to know Christ better because He is ultimately the reason for our adoption decision. And this gives others an idea of how we got to where we are today, waiting for our Ethiopian daughter to complete our family. 

January 15, 2012 We started attending Westside Family Church on a regular basis
February 1, 2012 Nathan and I attend Get Connected, a class to become Westside members
Around this same time, Nathan joined a men's fireside group, and I a women's group
February 5, 2012 Nathan and I begin Get Grounded, a 10 week study about the Bible
May 6, 2012 Nathan and I begin Get Charged, a 10 week study about Loving Jesus, Becoming like Jesus,                
      and Sharing Jesus
July 15, 2012 Jenny is baptized (Nathan was baptized in middle school)
August 19, 2012 Nathan is interviewed on stage by Pastor Brian Phipps about how we became involved
August 27, 2012 Jenny Starts our adoption journey by researching the process (domestic and international)
      * I sent an email to Nathan regarding my research to see what his reaction would be and his response
         was, "Oh boy" (I have saved that email)
September 7, 2012 Application sent in to America World
September 19, 2012 Accepted into the Ethiopia program
Paper Chase begins!
October 4, 2012 First Home Study visit with social worker, Kim
October 11, 2012 Fingerprints done for KBI report
October 15, 2012 Jenny and Nathan get physicals (TB tests read on Oct. 18th)
October 16, 2012 Kids get physicals (TB tests read Oct. 19th)
October 29, 2012 Heart of the Matter training completed
November 1, 2012 Attended first Adoption Network meeting (put up Christmas trees at Westside)
November 4, 2012 Our first Orphan Sunday as prospective adoptive parents
November 29, 2012 2nd Social Worker visit- home visit
January 10, 2013 3rd and final visit with social worker
January 14, 2013 Home Study completed- official report sent to us
January 22, 2013 I-600A application sent in
April 5, 2013 Poker Fundraiser hosted by church friends
April 12, 2013 Thirty-One fundraiser 
April 20, 2013 I-171H approval received 
April 24, 2013 Dossier shipped (insert sigh of relief here)
April 24-27, 2013 Adoption benefit garage sale 
May 3-5, 2013 Jenny attends Created for Care adoption retreat at The Elms with other adoptive moms
May 10, 2013 Dossier to Ethiopia (DTE), our "Paper Pregnancy" begins!

As always, we thank everyone for all of your support and prayers. Our eyes are wide open to the generosity of others as we are humbled by what our friends, family, and total strangers have done for us over the past 8 months. I wish I had the right words that could express exactly how much it has all meant to us. Wow, just wow, is all I can think of at the moment. 

For me, the greatest thing I've learned is that if God calls us to do something, He will give us everything we need to do it.


“I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. John 14:18





Friday, March 15, 2013

Fundraising and Donations

Today, I want to share with you some information on how we are raising funds to help with the adoption of our little Ethiopian daughter! 

We have been approved through Lifesong for Orphans and Westside Family Church for a $2,000 matching grant. Basically, if we can raise $2,000, we will be matched an additional $2,000. The date that they would like this to be done by is May 13, 2013. This does not leave us a whole lot of time, but we have some fundraising opportunities on the horizon. 

The first is going to be held on Friday, April 12th 7:00pm at our house in Shawnee (message me for the address if interested). Christine Johnson, a fellow "Westsider" and early worshiper (we see each other every Sunday morning at 8:30am) is a rep for Thirty-One, and she has graciously offered to have a fundraising party for us. All of the profit she would have earned from this party will be given towards our adoption. This is not a ladies only event, per se, but Nathan will be elsewhere with the kids. Here is a link to the catalog if you cannot make it, but would like to purchase something. If you are coming, just let me know, and please feel free to bring a friend or two! 
https://www.mythirtyone.com/christinejohnson/

The second opportunity is donating towards our big garage sale! We have had many generous donations towards this event already! The garage is filling up. If you need for us to pick up your items, we can arrange that! The sale will hopefully be part of our neighborhood garage sale in May. There might be a conflict with an adoption retreat I am attending, but we will adjust the weekend of the sale if that is the case. All of the proceeds of the sale will also go towards that grant money we need to earn. I will keep you all posted on the garage sale date once that is determined. Please let us know if you have items to donate!

And of course, cold hard cash always works, too! Lifesong has an account in our name already set up, so feel free to send them a check or you can go to their website. Here are those instructions:

Give by Check
Please make checks payable to Lifesong for Orphans. 
In the memo please note your gift preference with Family Account Number and Family Name. Our account number is 3466
Please mail checks to:
Lifesong for Orphans
PO Box 40
Gridley, IL 61744

Give Online
1. Go to www.lifesongfororphans.org/give/donate
2. Select Give to an Adoptive Family
3. Complete online form and fill in Family Account Number & Family Name Fields
*Please note that PayPal will charge an administrative fee (2.9% + $.30 USD per transaction). Your 
donation will be decreased by the amount of this fee. 
Individual donations $250 or more and yearly donations totaling $250 or more will receive a taxdeductible receipt. Receipts for donations under $250 will gladly be sent upon request.
Lifesong is a 501(c)3 tax exempt organization.
If you have any questions about donations please contact us at info@lifesongfororphans.org

Where are we at in the process? I am getting that question often! Today, we went to the Homeland Security office and crossed our little fingers that they would let us come a few weeks early to get our fingerprints. Nathan had a plane to catch this morning, and the office is right by the airport, so we figured we'd give it a try. The people there were very friendly, and did not turn us away, but the wait was too long for Nathan. So, I was able to get mine done, but he'll have to go back next week. 
Once this gets done, we will be waiting for our USCIS approval letter- stating we are approved to adopt internationally. This letter will be the final piece of paper we need to add to our dossier before sending it off to our agency. They will then send it over to Ethiopia, and we will officially be on a waiting list! This will be exciting- to (slowly) see our number get closer to the #1 spot, as we anticipate getting the referral for our daughter! It gives me goosebumps to think about how amazing this day will be. At this point, only God knows who our daughter is, but we already love her- and consider her our child and a part of our family!



Friday, January 11, 2013

Moving Along

This Africa sign is a gift from Santa and is proudly displayed in our kitchen 
Happy New Year, Friends and Family! 
We are excited to announce that we have completed our home study, and can finally move along to the next steps. Yesterday, we met with our amazing social worker, Kim, to finalize the home study. She has prepared a 16 page paper about all things Nathan and Jennifer Gronberg! It's strange to read all about your life written by someone else. We've spent hours with her answering questions about our past, our life together, our marriage, our parenting style, why we want to adopt, how we feel about our child's birth family, etc... It has been a real learning experience for both of us. Now that I know more about the process of adoption, and some of the many issues surrounding it, I feel even more blessed to be embarking on this journey as a family. 
I feel extremely excited that our family is going to make an impact on a life- on our future daughter's life- and she on all of our lives, too! 

Kim had some really nice and positive things to say about how she feels about Nathan and I. It is obvious that she has enjoyed writing up this home study, and feels that we are going to be great adoptive parents to our daughter. Our relationship with her is important, as she will be updating our home study in about 1 year (they expire), and she will be conducting our post adoption visits.  One of the questions we had to answer was about what are some major stresses we've gone through in our marriage. She found it interesting that both of us said that there had been none. She thought that having 3 children, or going through the adoption would be good answers. She felt that how we viewed what stress is was a good indicator of our true team spirit, and how we handle stress together. This is a big reason why she feels that we'll get through this process just fine, leaning on one another for support. 

In other news, we have more excitement to share. On Wednesday, we received some really great news regarding our finances, and this adoption is no longer a financial worry! We don't want to get too detailed about it, but we are feeling blessed in this area. I can remember back to when we were first thinking about adopting, and people that we were giving us references for agencies were saying that we should not worry about the financial aspect- that if we were being called to adopt, then God would help us in His time. And here we are- finding out that our prayers have been answered. In addition, the adoption tax credit has been extended permanently (it was set to expire in 2012), so this is also wonderful news on the financial front for us! We will be applying for a few grants, and having some garage sales to help out with the unforeseeable expenses that creep up. Another goal we are working towards is being able to bring Riley (and Addison?) with us for the first trip to Ethiopia to meet their sister. I think that this would be an invaluable trip for our biological children to accompany us on. 

Along those same lines, a few months ago, Nathan went to an ATM on a whim to help a friend facing a difficult financial time. The next day, we received an email from our agency stating that one of our dear friends had contributed to our agency's Eternal Life fund for us. This is just another example of how God's love is shared. How great would it be if we all loved one another in this way? Were we in the best position to give to this friend in need? Of course not, but he needed it more than us. In turn, our prayers were answered for our financial needs. So very cool to think about. 

I have been thinking a lot about our daughter's birth parents lately. We have requested a female between the ages of 0-36 months, and because the wait is so long, she could be just conceived, or just born... and I am envisioning an Ethiopian woman, living in poverty, shuffling around humming to her sweet baby that she won't be able to keep. Maybe it's not really like that, but it's how I picture it. These thoughts have led me to start praying for our sweet little girl and her birth parents. I put myself in their shoes- I loved my babies from the minute I learned of my pregnancies. To carry them, and to have to make the sacrifice to give them over to someone else due to not being able to care for them- the hurt must be terrible! And so, I pray for peace for them, that the child will be protected from illness, hunger and danger, and that God will provide someone to love our child- for her to experience love, affection, and attention from the caregivers in the orphanage. I also don't feel that it's too early to also pray that the child bonds with our family, that God will knit the hearts of our biological children and our adoptive child, and that the hearts of extended family members will be softened to our adoption. These are things we think about every day as the process slowly inches along. If you pray, will you consider adding some of these things to your prayer list? It would mean a lot to us! 

We will be so excited when we can actually announce our number on the waiting list! We anticipate this being in March. There is some paperwork to finish up, and then we will be sending our dossier over to Ethiopia! While we are waiting, we will be continuing our training- on interracial issues, on hair and skin care, on how to promote bonding with our daughter, on sensory issues, etc... There's so much to learn, and we want to be fully prepared for this journey! 

Note:
KC people- if you have anything to donate to our spring garage sale, please let us know, and we can work out a time to pick it up! We appreciate anything you can give. 
Thank you all for the continued prayers and support. It's means so much to us to have people in our lives to share the excitement and joy with! 
Nathan and Jenny