1 month to travel!

Shared on Facebook 7/2/2016

It's hitting me that we'll be leaving for China in about 1 month. I've got butterflies in my stomach saying that. So many emotions as I think about leaving my other 3 kids home for 2 weeks without us. We've never been away for that long- it's going to be hard on all off us (and the grandparents). It's especially hurting my heart that I won't be at Chase's first day of Kindergarten- it's one of my favorite events of the year- back to school. After a long, but fun summer together, I love seeing the excitement on their faces as they look at their class lists, meet their teachers, and find their lockers. It's like fresh start. This will for sure be the hardest day for me.

An adoption update (bear with me): We're only one step away from receiving travel approval to go get our sweet girl...I'm definitely feeling the weight of everything that's about to happen. This point in the process feels somewhat like the end of pregnancy...the anticipation of this new little one that will be joining our family, the nesting and preparation that takes place, the "what ifs" that run through your head, and the sleepless nights that leave you feeling exhausted the next day...only I'm not lying awake because of the discomfort of a growing belly or because of wiggly, little baby feet kicking the inside of me, but I lie awake wrestling with all the mixed emotions and thoughts that come with adoption. I lie awake thinking about Scarlett and the many things that she's already been through in her short little life, things that most of us will never experience. I think about her birth mother and the heartache and sacrifice that she made to choose life for her. We will probably never know the circumstances that lead her in needing to give her up, but from what we do know I have absolute faith that she loved her. I think about her foster mother...the woman who's been caring for her all this time and the heartbreak that she will go through in having to let her go. I think about the grief, loss, fear, bewilderment, and helplessness that Scarlett is going to feel when we take her from her...and it kills me. It takes my breath away to think about how much grief and loss is involved with adoption. There are some days that it's just unbearable to think about and I literally need to conscientiously block it from my mind. Don't get me wrong, adoption is a beautiful thing! Adoption is hope, redemption, love, and most importantly, it a picture of the gospel of Jesus Christ who has adopted us into his forever family! So again, adoption is one of the most wonderful things this side of heaven...but there's also another side. Adoption is full of grief and loss. It's messy, it's traumatic, and it's filled with unknowns...but it is absolutely, and totally worth it!! I don't have any idea what life will be like when we bring Scarlett home. We've never met this child, we don't know the half of what she's been through, and we don't know what to expect other than the fact that it will be difficult. But what I DO know is this...I know my God! This God I know is Father to the fatherless, defender of the orphan and the widow, and this God I know...is love. I KNOW that he has called us to this and I KNOW that he alone will supply our every need in order to glorify him and be a forever family to this child! I don't know what it will look like or how the Lord will do it, but because I know Him, I know He is faithful and will keep His promises. Because I know Him, is how I can tell you that all of this, no matter how hard it is, will be totally worth it!

What's in a name?

Naming children is not our strong suit as a couple. Heck, we could hardly agree on what to name our dogs! Needless to say, naming an adopted child from a foreign country has proven to be the hardest one yet!!

I started a list of names years ago. When we decided to adopt, to be exact. It started with a list in my brain of a few of my favorites (Lucy, Peri, Maisie...). Then I started taking notes on names I would hear or read in my People magazine as I knew the time was getting closer and closer to when we'd actually have a child to name.

I wanted to pick a name some time ago because calling her "baby China" just didn't seem right. Nathan felt strongly that we needed to wait until we saw her face and knew her story to give her a name. I had no choice but to honor his request. Looking back, he was right. We needed to know more to give her the proper name.

We sent in our LOI (letter of intent) for Zou Yu Tong. It's time to name this child of ours. Baby China doesn't cut it anymore. The kids wanted to know what we would name her, too. Yu means a drop of water that turns to vapor as it falls from the cloud, and Tong means red, which is also the color for luck in China. I researched names that mean Red. None of them grabbed me. I searched for names with Chinese roots (Maylie was one of my favorites). I wrote them down and presented Nathan with my list. He told me that he'd done some research of his own at work one day last week. This just made my day- how sweet that he was starting to think about naming our daughter, too. It's about time, right? God love my patient and thoughtful husband. He's taught me a lot about waiting things out and trusting His timing.

Nathan had also searched for names that mean red and his list included Ruby, Scarlett, and others that were just too far out there to be considered. Initially, I told him that the red names weren't doing much for me, but I REALLY liked this idea of incorporating her given name into our name for her, so I looked at her pic often and whispered the red names as I studied her gorgeous face. Scarlett just grabbed me and then every time I looked at her pic, that's all I could see. Our daughter, Scarlett. Mae has Chinese roots (Mei is how the Chinese would pronounce it), and so that will be one of her middle names along with her given first name, Yu.

So, we're excited to announce the name of our daughter. Scarlett Mae Yu Gronberg!

Finally something AWESOME to share!

Well, if finally happened! We got THE PHONE CALL (again, but this time it was for OUR daughter). Our LID (log in date- when our paperwork is officially logged in in China- and we are officially on the list to be matched with a child) date is 12/1/15 and for a girl 0-3 the average length of time to wait for that phone call is about 6 months. I knew that we were getting close. To tell the story right, I have to start from a few days before the call.

On Tuesday, May 10th, Addison stayed home sick with me. She had had a fever the day before and a cough, so not super sick, but not allowed at school either. So, we had a few errands to run. She wanted to use some of her allowance money to get some charms at Michael's (like the ones from the 80's that us girls all had). She was trying to choose between your normal kind of charms like cupcakes, baby bottles, bubbles, a toilet, and then I saw a few kits that came with the bracelet link chain, and 4 charms in one box. There was one that was Chinese themed- it had a panda bear, a fortune cookie that said "good luck", a to go box with chopsticks, and sushi. I thought how random is that. I casually showed it to Addison and she stopped in her tracks and knew immediately that that's the one she wanted (it's all about "Baby China" these days- she's ready to get her sister home, too). I decided that I should get one too, and we hoped that our purchase would bring us good luck for a phone call that we'd been matched with our baby China finally. With hopeful hearts, we took a cute selfie (of course) and wore our new jewelry with pride.

On Wednesday, May 11th, I went over to Nancy Bartelt's house for a moms of piano lessons get together (our kids take piano with her, we are the moms who drive them and participate in the lessons, but we hardly get to chat). I was excited to spend more time with these ladies who I'd been in lessons with for a year. And Nancy adopted a little girl from China about a year prior, so she and her husband Todd are a great resource and support for us! I hung around later than I meant to- I was the last to leave. As I was walking out, we talked about the adoption and I told her that I'm just done with this waiting to find out who she is, and that I had a good feeling about the month of May. She said she'd keep praying for us, and I headed home, with my mind on my daughter who I felt so desperate for. I prayed on my way home (alone in a car for 15 minutes- it's the best I can do).

Thursday started just like any other day. Got the kids up for school, fed them breakfast, asked them to get their stuff together and get their shoes and socks on at least 5 times before someone actually listened (this is universal, right?), dropped the bigs off at Belmont Elementary and stopped in Wal-Mart for a few things we needed (I can't remember what they were now), and headed towards Chase's preschool, Trinity. We were already late- Walmart took longer than we expected as it usually does. It was 9:06am. THE PHONE RINGS. I look over, expecting it to be Nathan or anyone else, but to my surprise the number was our adoption agency. I took a deep breath and answered the phone with a shaky voice. The lady on the other end said, " Hi, I'm calling for Jennifer Gronberg." And I think I said "this is her." And she said, "This is Rachel with America World. Is this a good time to talk?" And I told her that I was getting ready to drop my son off at school and I'd call her right back. I hated having to do this, but I knew that the conversation would be much better for me if I was kid free (does everyone's child start making more noise than usual when they realize you're on the phone?). I hung up with her and just started praying to God that this call was for OUR DAUGHTER. I did not want to have to say no to another child. That is the worst. One was enough for me.

I shooed poor Chase into his class and made a beeline for my car. I took a few deep breaths, said another quick prayer, and called our agency back.

Rachel told me that she had a child's file to discuss with me. She said that this one might be a "stretch match" for us because the special need was something we'd said "maybe" to. This was how the conversation started when we got the call for Zi Mi, so my heart sank and I thought no, not another one. She went on to tell me that the little girl is 19 months old, and is missing her left hand. Okay, sounds good so far. She also told me that this little girl had been diagnosed with scoliosis, and that she'd been living in foster care. I had prayed that our daughter would be out of foster care instead of the orphanage- how awesome that she's known the love of a family! Rachel goes on to tell me that although she's in foster care, they are stilled placed through an orphanage and her particular orphanage is not responsive to questions in a timely manner. They only have her file for a short period of time, and we most likely wouldn't be able to get our questions answered before needing to make a decision.

At the time, I didn't know much about scoliosis, so I was very worried that this wouldn't work out. I asked Rachel to go ahead and send me her file so we could review her information and see pics. Rachel asked that we decide if we want to review her file formally by 3:00pm (formally reviewing a file gives you more time and puts her file on hold from other families being able to review it). I kept my heart guarded. Darn it, I hated having to remove my feelings from the first time I saw her face. But, I had to. What if we found something in her file that we just had to say no to like with Zi Mi?

I got the email with her information and pictures. Her name is Zou Yu Tong. Zou is the surname (last name), Yu means a water drop falling from the sky, turning into vapor as it falls from the sky, and Tong means red. I scanned through the info and medical exam and slowly looked at these first pics of her:

These pics are from last summer when she was about 8 months old. I thought, well she's cute. My heart was still guarded. I scrolled through the Chinese medical report and came across her passport pic at the end:

I thought, wow what a pretty face she has. I notice that Rachel has sent me another email with more updated pics of her. These are from January 2016 (4 months ago):

I called Nathan and he didn't answer. I called Nathan again and he didn't answer. I texted Nancy- "you must be good luck because I got a phone call this morning!" Boy was she excited! :-)

I called Nathan again and he answered, saying that he was in a meeting and was everything okay? I told him that I'd gotten a phone call from our agency, and I had a little girl to talk to him about. He said, "oh boy." And promised to call me soon.

It took forever, but he called me back. It wasn't that long, just seemed like it! I searched about scoliosis while I waited. I wasn't worried about the missing hand, but I needed to know more about scoliosis before this little one got into my heart. Things on the internet can be scary, as you know. Scoliosis didn't seem too serious, but it could be if it was detected in an infant... I had no information about how she was diagnosed. There seemed to be no x-ray. Scoliosis isn't diagnosed in an infant without an x-ray... so, how are they coming to the conclusion that she has that? Hmmm. I forward the file to a doctor at Children's Mercy who runs the international adoption clinic there- he reviewed the file of Zi Mi all those months ago. I knew that he'd be able to help us with the decision and to understand what we were seeing in the medical records.

Nathan calls me back. I tell him what Rachel told me. I send him the email and listen as he looks at her pics and reads her file. We spend the next 30 minutes on the phone reading about scoliosis together and wondering what would it mean if she did have 2 special needs? Nathan finds something in the file that says spasticity. We google it, it doesn't sound great, but there's no explanation about why it says that- just the word. Hmmm? Oh AND the last exam was done almost a year ago, so is ANY of this still valid?!

I don't have a good feeling about it. I hate all of the questions and not being able to get our questions answered. It all seems too overwhelming. I text Nathan and say, "I think we should just say no." Ugh, I hate that I said that. Man is this adoption stuff hard and emotional!

I have a physical therapy appointment for my poor ankle that I messed up during a group fitness class, so I head out, calling Jen Decker, the leader of Network 1:27, an adoption and foster ministry at our church. She has adopted 2 boys with missing limbs from China. She is my go to for all things adoption, of course. I tell her about the referral. I can tell that she's like "so what?" to the special needs I'm describing. She asks me what degree of scoliosis would we say no to? It's a punch in the gut question. I say, well, no degree. Hmmm it gets me to thinking.  It gets my head out of the gutter- and back to thinking, just maybe this will be the one! She mentions that her being in foster care is something to be very happy about! Our main concern was the 2 possible needs together- can this mean another disorder or syndrome? She says that's a valid question- we need to find out about that. I tell her that I've sent the file to Dr. C at Children's Mercy.

My brain is mush for the day. I'm surprised I remember much about that day at all. I'm so glad that all of my kids are in school so I can have the time to process things, and have conversations with friends, professionals and God with no disruptions.

I hear back from Dr. C. He asks to see pics of her missing hand. They didn't send me one. How strange. I add that to the list of questions to ask the orphanage (we would submit questions anyways, keeping our fingers crossed to hear back sooner than later, but realizing the decision would need to be made with no answers). By 2:30 I call Rachel back and let her know that we'd like to review the file officially and gave her a list of questions to submit to the orphanage. She told me that we have until Monday morning at 10am to say yes or no (no pressure).

My feelings go back and forth the rest of the day. Nathan somehow gets through work and home to us where we go through our evening routine and get the kids to bed. I think we're both emotionally drained. We don't talk much about it. I know that we need a good few nights to sleep on it and pray for God to lead us in our decision, as He has faithfully done since starting this journey.

I feel sad when I go to bed, like so unsure of what we're going to decide about Zou Yu Tong. I quite honestly felt a bit unsure about the missing hand, even  though we'd said yes to that disability. I ask God to put the love for her into my heart, to put peace about the situation in my heart OR to slam that door shut. Throughout the decision making process, I pray this many times. I'm so thankful for Jesus to guide us through this. He knows, and has known how this would all play out. I just have to follow His lead.

On Friday, I met one of my girls, Julie Norman at the coffee shop that we frequent with a group of ladies on Friday mornings. Julie was the only one that could meet that day and I almost cancelled to go to garage sales (Chase is at school on Friday mornings). I decided that talking it through with Julie would help, so I meet my friend and tell her about the news she'd been praying for with us for years. She was so excited and instantly fell in love when I showed her Yu's picture. Bless her. She looked at me and said, "I'd say yes." She has such a heart for kids, just like me. My meeting with her changed everything. God changed my heart that morning. Hearing myself describe her out loud to my friend made me realize that we needed to say yes to this file and trust just like so many who have adopted internationally have done as they have questions unanswered as well.

I call Nathan and tell him about my conversation with Julie and my change of heart and more positive outlook. I have conversations with Nancy Bartelt about what the file does/does not say and she says that they had unanswered questions when they adopted, too. I talk to Angela Handy, another friend who adopted a daughter from China and she says the same thing- unanswered questions. We'd talked to a chiropractor and neither the Children's Mercy doctor or him are concerned about the scoliosis. They find it strange that an infant would be diagnosed with that with no X-ray. We doubt she has it. And if she does, a brace would be all she'd need. No biggie. Could there be a mistranslation? It happens on occasion, so I ask around and sure enough Jen Decker has a contact in China who will translate the paragraph in question for free! By Sunday night, we are nearly 100% sure that we're saying yes to this file, but we first want to hear back from the translator.

On Monday morning, Nancy remembers that she has a friend who has adopted 2 kids from China with severe scoliosis. I get her number and give her a call. Scoliosis is no biggie, she says. "I'd adopt another child with this condition in a heartbeat, and my kids had severe cases!" The translator doesn't find anything amiss. I call Nathan and we officially says yes to Zou Yu Tong! NOW I have those feelings. This is my daughter and man do I love her! I want to tell the world. This is my daughter. The one I've been waiting 4 years for!! GOD IS SO GOOD!!!!

We submitted our letter of intent on Thursday, May 19th. This letter includes our Nurture plan. We explained how we intend to care for our daughter, what resources we have, and why we want to adopt her. We hope to hear back from China next week. They said it would take 3-15 days to get our Letter of Acceptance (LOA) from China. In the meantime, we have a hefty amount of paperwork to get ready to sent the minute we get the LOA. Travel ought to be in August or September. We'll know more about this once we get that paperwork sent off. Lots of excitement around here!

So, when should we tell the kids? I'm dying to tell them right away. Nathan is more cautious than me. I talk him into telling them, explaining that we need to receive a letter from China to make it official. That was on Wednesday, the 18th after dinner that we shared the news. Man were they excited, especially Addison! She is so excited for a sister finally! I can't wait to see these girls together. We explained to the kids about her disability and that they'd need to stick up for her.
Here's a video from that moment:

On Thursday morning, I received a letter from Rachel with the amazing news that we'd received an update from the orphanage- answers to our questions!! God is so good!! Seriously. What?! This update included the info that the spasticity was gone, there was no x-ray, pics of her hand and back, other pics and a video!! It was like Christmas morning! Here are the pics we received. I won't include the back pic- there is nothing to see- it's just a child's back, adding to the thought that there is no scoliosis. The video is a short clip of her walking, and it wouldn't save to my computer for some reason.

I fell in real love with my daughter this day. I'm not scared about her disability. At all. I love her just the way she is. God made her unique just like the rest of us, and God chose us to be her family. My momma heart is full and dying to get her in my arms.

Thank you for reading through is very long post. I don't want to forget a minute of this journey.

A Big Step and other news

I want to start with the biggest thing first. TODAY I SENT OUR DOSSIER TO OUR ADOPTION AGENCY TO BE SENT TO CHINA NEXT WEEK!! If you don't know what a dossier is, it's the fat stack of paperwork that contains every little piece of information about you and yours for the country to approve you for a referral (a child to adopt). Things that are in the dossier include: you and your spouse's birth certificates, your marriage certificate (these have to be less than 6 months old), physical exams for mom and dad that include certain blood tests, tb tests, and letters if surgeries have been performed or there's been an illness, 3 references (we used a dear friend, a pastor, and a teacher), a financial statement, a police report for both mom and dad with repentance letters, if necessary (if there's a criminal history... not naming names here), an application letter explaining who we are and why we want to adopt, our 15 page home study that contains every nugget of information you'd want to or not want to know about our family, US government approval to adopt, and a few more. Each of these pieces of paper have been notarized, state certified, and authenticated with the Chinese consulate in Chicago. A few weeks ago, I got to make 2 kid-free trips to Topeka to get documents state certifies. Ah the freedom of riding in peace, no listening to Watch me Whip... here's a cool pic I took in our great state's capital:

THIS IS NOT AN EASY PROCESS, PEOPLE! I remember when I first received the info and was so overwhelemed just looking at all of the things that needed to happen before we could be considered to adopt a child. AND THIS WAS OUR 2ND TIME DOING THIS PAPERWORK IN THE LAST 3 YEARS (as a reminder, we started our adoption journey with the intent to adopt from Ethiopia. God closed that door and very clearly opened the door for the Waiting Children's program in China).\\

So, after THE LONGEST PREGNANCY EVER (peeps in the adoption world call this being "paper pregnant"), I can happily say that that precious paperwork is out of my hands, and on it's way to our adoption agency in Virginia. In one week, they will ship it over to China. We'll be anxiously, nervously, and prayerfully waiting for word that our daughter has been matched with our family. I fantasize about this magical day when WE GET TO SEE HER FACE FOR THE FIRST TIME! Can you imagine?! Oh how I ache to know who she is!!! When we first started this process, I wondered how I could love a child that wasn't mine. I'm not ashamed to admit this. But as we've gotten further and further along in this journey, my love for her has grown and grown. My heart feels full and eager to love on this child that God has chosen for our family. I have complete peace just knowing that it's out of our hands, and that God loves this child more than I could possibly imagine, and He knows where she belongs. GOOSEBUMPS!

Here's a pic of me today at the post office- a selfie of me and the paperwork that I had a hard time handing over to the postal worker who must think I'm totally mental.

Backing up now. I have to catch you guys up because more exciting things have happened since my last post in July. 

I have done a few fundraisers to help get us through these hefty payments that are pouring in as we get closer and closer. Not to mention what it's going to cost to travel! AND we are desperately hoping to cart our 3 kiddos along for the journey. How amazing would it be to go as a family over to China, pick our our girl TOGETHER, and get that family bonding started right there in the orphanage?! I can't sleep at night, I'm so worried we won't be able to make it happen! I think that Riley, Addison, and Chase would really benefit from coming with us- imagine the cultural experience they'd have. So, I did this fun cape fundraiser, and that brought in about $500. And boy are these kids adorable in their capes. Here's a few pics of my donors:

After this fundraiser, a generous friend from church offered to do mini photo shoots for a fundraiser. So, on a beautiful day in October, we had a few hours in the morning, and a few in the evening where she took pics of these awesome families who felt moved by our story and wanted to help. We had so many families who wanted to participate that I had to ask a friend to help. He was so sweet, and gladly accepted! So, a big thanks to Jannah and Kevin for your servant's hearts. 

Here are a few pics of the families that I am so thankful for:

We ended that beautiful day with Kevin snapping some shots of our family. I've been wanting some globe pics for awhile (thanks, pinterest for the idea). Here they are. Cute, aren't they?! 

I am so humbled by people's generosity, and love for our family! It's comforting to know that we have so many friends who support us, and want to be a part of our journey. We love to share this experience! 

That brings me to my final bit of information. We are still fundraising. The next fundraiser will be a Facebook silent auction. It will launch in early January. It's my goal to collect 200 items. I am looking for everything. Direct sales donations, gift cards, crafty things, refurbished furniture, local deals (hair cuts, etc...). Anything that people would want to buy! Please let me know if you would like to donate something. Ask your friends. I've just started this, and already in 1 day I have almost 20 people committed to donating things, some complete strangers!! If you are on Facebook, look for my auction page soon. 

I will end with a quick timeline. We get this question every day, and everyone is so curious about what this will look like. We love to talk about it, so keep on asking! 

11/20/15 Dossier sent to China (this will take some time to arrive, and get logged in, but I imagine our LID (log-in date) to be a few weeks after it's received).

Once that happens, we will officially be on the list to receive a referral (a child).

I've been told that our agency is expecting a large amount of files on kids to come in in December. There's a chance we could get the best Christmas gift ever- to get to see the face of our child. However, we are requesting a girl, age 0-3 and that's the most popular request, so it could be a few more months. Who knows? So, once we receive the referral, we have a few weeks to take her medical file to a doctor and go over her needs (we've requested minor, repairable needs) before accepting her. 

Once we accept her, we will wait for a RA (referral approval) from China. After that is received, we wait for a TA (travel approval), and once we get that we'll be in full traveling planning mode. We'll have 2-3 months before our trip. So, there are still many steps to happen before she's with us. 

Will you join us in praying for our little girl? We are definitely hoping to have fundraising success, but the thing we want the most is your support, encouragement and prayers!! I believe in the power of prayer- it's a mighty thing!! 

If you made it to the end of this post, thanks. You are a gem. Maybe if I posted more often, I wouldn't have to do these lengthy catch-ups?! 

One step back, one step forward (our adoption update)

Yes, we are still WAITING for our adoption to happen. People have almost stopped asking. It's been 2 1/2 years since we started the process to adopt from Ethiopia. It's not that there aren't kids to adopt. They are sitting in orphanages, waiting to be chosen, waiting for a third-world country to process their paperwork. We are over here, waiting for the phone call, the referral of a child who will forever change our lives... and we wait...

and wait...

and wait...

And then, we realize after months of listening to conference calls that update us on the process that the wait is going to keep getting longer and longer. You see, when we started this whole crazy thing back in September of 2012, the wait time was 18-24 months (in which case, we'd have our child now). But now, in July of 2015, the wait time is 36-48 months. That's right, we are not moving at all...

In the meantime, our biological kids are getting older (oh, and so are we, darn it). At this rate, Chase (who is 4 now) will be at least 8 when we get that referral for a child 0-3 years old. Now, those with older children can attest. Once you are out of the baby stage, you are OUT OF THE BABY STAGE!! We have our big toes out of that stage already. Ah, no diapers. No nap times. It's a lovely season, actually.

With that being said. I have some news to share regarding our adoption journey. Just when we were discussing throwing in the towel, giving up on our dream to adopt, we received an email from our agency, encouraging us to open our hearts to a different country. We'd received this email before, but decided to stick with Africa, as we felt a strong connection to our child waiting for us there. However, God's plan isn't usually our plan, right? After much prayer and discussion, we've started the process to adopt from the Waiting Child Program in CHINA.

Do you know what this means?! This means that we are STARTING OVER. Arg. Sigh. But this time around, we've already done all of this, so we KNOW what we are doing (mostly). The Waiting Child program consists of boys and girls ages 0-3, and 6+ who have minor to major special needs. We will be selecting very minor (repairable) needs in the age bracket of 0-3. The kids typically have cleft lip/palate, club foot, limb differences, etc... We still need to decide what needs we are willing to tackle. If we end up with a baby, expect my plea for your baby hand-me-downs!

The wait for us is unknown, but once the paperwork is submitted (hopefully not more than 6 months), it will be a short wait. We have a cruise planned with my family (thanks, mom and dad) in February, and I imagine us receiving the referral shortly after returning home from that. I'm getting really excited thinking about being a family of 6 this time next year!

For now, we will be up to our ears in social workers and paperwork. Please pray for our family as we gear up for what's to come in the next year. We are thankful that we've been called to this mission, and that while one door has closed, another one has opened!

I'm sure we'll do a fundraiser once the paperwork is completed to help raise the funds we'll need to finish this out. In the meantime, if you feel called to, here's the link to donate towards our adoption. Prayers are the biggest need at the moment, though.
http://www.awaa.org/give/eternal_family_program.aspx
For designated family name, that's us, Nathan and Jennifer Gronberg

Adoption on My Mind

Can I just say that the adoption process is so hard? My heart is so ready to complete our family by means of adoption, but our wait is still so long. I read an email update from our agency today on the way home from the lake and it said that the wait time for a toddler (male or female) age 0-4 is now 36-42 months. The math is getting harder to do... I'm math stupid, but if 12 months= 1 year, and 24 months= 2 years, and 36 months= 3 years, that means that 42 months= 3.5 years... and they added that they expect this trend of slowing down to continue. We have been "paper pregnant" for 16 months. So, this means that as of today and the current wait times, we have about 24-30 MORE months to go. I can't imagine what that number will be in 2 more years...
We are required to update our home study and other paper work every year. That process was so hard to be motivated to do this year because I know that doing so does not speed up our adoption. It's money and time spent for nothing, in my mind. Can you tell I'm feeling defeated/frustrated? We hear from time to time "how is the adoption going?' and that question is so tough to answer- I wish there were more to tell, but all I can say is that we are still waiting and will be for quite awhile.

One might ask, why don't you just switch agencies or countries? It's not that easy. Making either of those switches would cost quite a bit of money, not to mention that things could be just as slow or slower with a different country or agency. As of now, our feelings are still strong for Ethiopia. We know this is the journey we have been called to. They said it wouldn't be easy. I know what that means now. Adoption is not for the weak, and we don't even have our child yet. 

In closing, I got a message today that our fundraiser site is shutting down. You have until 
October 1st to order a t-shirt to support our fundraiser. The link is: http://www.adoptionbug.com/thegronberg6/

Thank you for your continued support and encouragement. The road is long, but before long we'll bring our child home. I'll keep my chin up and focus my thoughts on the reason we're going through this in the first place! God's got this, and we need to trust in His plan for our family!

Adoption update

Hi, Friends and Family!

It has been quite some time since I've written, and that's because there just has not been much to tell.
Last month, there was a possibility that international adoption in Ethiopia would be closed. The prime minister chose to support international adoption, however, and phew, we can rest easy (for now).
My first thought was for all of those orphans who would never have the chance for a family, and for those families that were at the top of the list, having waited for years to get that phone call that we all are so determined to get- the phone call with good news that a child had been matched with our family.
I was never stressed out for us. We are new in the process (we've been on the list since 5/10/13). We would be so sad to say goodbye to Ethiopia, but could still add to our family through adoption in numerous other ways. We have been trusting God throughout this entire process, as all that we can do is continue on, knowing that the control is out of our hands.
Each month, the coordinators at our adoption agency hold a conference call for the families adopting from Ethiopia. Last month, a big topic was the fact that the process is continuing to slow down. When we started this process back in September 2012, the wait for age 0-2 years was 18-24 months. Now, in February 2014, that wait is now 36-42 months, with the possibility of those wait times continuing to get longer.
This has brought Nathan and I to have some decisions to make about the age and gender that we are requesting. If you do the math, and our wait is 3 years from now (or more), Riley would be 11, Addison would be 9, and Chase would be 6 years old. Will we want to do the whole baby/toddler thing again when our kids are all in elementary school? It's hard to know what's going to be going on 3 or so years from now, or how we'll feel about this.
We went to lunch with our awesome social worker on Wednesday to discuss these things with her and get her professional opinion. The other thing to think about is that while there are issues with any age coming from a traumatic situation, the older the child is, the harder the transition will most likely be. She recommended staying under age 6. We've decided to change our request to up to 4 years old, and instead of requesting a female, we've changed our request to either gender. Both of these changes will move us up on the list just a bit. Something I just thought of- we had hoped to be surprised with Chase's gender, but the sonographer accidentally showed us what was between the legs. So, none of our kids were a surprise in that regard, now we will get our surprise! I like it. We get what we get!
God already knows who our child is, and we trust Him completely with the future of our family.
We ask that you continue to pray for the orphans and for the Ethiopia process to be ethical and more efficient.
Thanks, friends and family for all of the love and support you've shown us over the last 1 1/2 years. We have a long way to go, and appreciate everyone!
With Love,
Nathan, Jenny, Riley, Addison, and Chase